A Word

Yesterday I wrote the most eloquent blog, then inadvertently deleted it before posting. I was so distraught at losing such beautiful prose, that I couldn't bring myself to even try to duplicate it. Such is life. Sometimes you get just the right word, or offer up penetrating insight, or the hilarious quip in a meeting. Sometimes you don't.

In any event, I find that lately I'm either off or on. I'm white-hot for God, or stone cold. I'm focused or distracted. I'm strong or weak.

I don't like it when I vacillate so widely in my personality. I'm used to being consistently one way or the other. And while I'm not sure why I'm experiencing such shifts in my outlook, I'm treating it like warfare. And though I've lost a few battles, I'm determined to win the war by choosing to do those things that I know are right to do--whether I feel like it or not.

Just pray I don't delete it all before posting!

Update

Yesterday I updated the podcast (a bit late, due to travel). So today, I figured I owed an update to the blog world.

I was out this past weekend for four days travelling in Costa Rica. Over the last several years, God has been burdening my heart to open a retreat and training center for pastors in Central America. The training will be provided free of charge to those who are reaching the lost in Costa Rica, Panama, Nicaragua and northward. To cover the cost of this training, we will operate a pastoral retreat for US pastors--a place where they can come to heal, renew, and refresh.

We (my ministry partners and I) looked at many properties throughout the Central Valley. We found two that we are very interested in, and have begun to investage them further. Our first challenge will be to raise the money necessary to purchase, build (or remodel) and staff them. I expect this process will take months--maybe years--so don't worry about me disappearing anytime soon. Unless someone would like to donate the entire amount today :) (If so, please give me a call. We need to talk.)

On the home front, things are moving forward. Flora will be turning 18 on May 30, and getting married on May 31. Baby is due July 14. She and her fiance are looking for an apartment now, so she can move out April 1. So far, not much luck on finding something they can afford. Please pray for them.

Every one else is status quo. Sometimes you just gotta thank God for status quo. The heart can only take so much drama.

More to come.

Again

Yesterday we lost another long-time church member, Debbie Warshaw. Debbie struggled with some health problems, but it seems an accident may have caused the injury to which she finally succumbed.

Debbie has three wonderful kids, two of which I was blessed to be youth pastor to back in the day. Her oldest, Adam, now about to complete college, was a regular at my house, and one of "the guys" as my son called them. Adam had a place at my Monopoly table (in youth-pastor-speak, that's about as close as you can get).

Adam's sister, Jen, was just a middle-school squirt when I stepped into another role at Grace. but to see her today, she is the picture of maturity and strength. Yesterday at the hospital I could see God's grace on her in so many ways.

The baby, Kaitlyn, is just 14 and in 8th grade. She is far too young to lose her mom. I was priviledged to be with her as she said goodbye to her mom, as Debbie's heart finally stopped.

Romans 6:23 says, "The wages of sin is death." Right now, I'm pretty sick of death.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Yesterday a funeral. Today my taxes. Tomorrow a wedding.

Blogging has taken a back seat in recent weeks. I could tell you how busy I've been, or about my funk. But none of that matters. The truth is, life happens.

And that's the point. Life--the good, the bad and the ugly--it all happens. And what we make of the moments, and the times in between, is the essence of our journey.

I wish I had some poetic discovery to share. But alas, my life leaves me in a quandary just as often as the next guy.